You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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