I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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