And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
