ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
