My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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