he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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