i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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