Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize