my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
