Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
