a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
