trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
