Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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