i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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