Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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