she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
