is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
