Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
