You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize