i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
