he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize