Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
