i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
