haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
