Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
