Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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