I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize