Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
