She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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