Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
