it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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