My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize