addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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