I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
