i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
