let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize