this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
