I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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