i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
