shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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