Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Do vagina's smell?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
