I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
