I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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