shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish i was in the wii world.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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