After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
