Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
