I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize