I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
