You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
