Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
