your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
