Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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