Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
