it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
