Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
