He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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