If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
