you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
