your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
no, he came in my armpit
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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