Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
